Review of the Kindle

Reviewing a piece of kit is not something I would normally do but I thought I would have a go so here follows.

 

Last year the wife got me a Kindle for Christmas this was one of those gadgets you kind of want but don't want to spend the cash on, 80 quid is allot of money for what is basically something that carry’s books and personally I felt it would lose the feel of reading a book, not wanting to sound cliché` but there’s something about the smell and feel of paper which is engaging it is all part of the experience.

 

However I got one and being a smidge on the nerdy side had to use it, so it’s now been nearly a month and two books down and frankly i love it, the page turns are simple and easy to use (i know that sounds daft) but it does work well, the screen is clear and easy to read, the absence of a back light is annoying and could easily have been resolved, in the end of the day if my 6 quid watch has a light it can't be hard to build one in and would have made a huge difference.

 

On the plus side the Wifi access to the Internet makes it easy to access blogs and other sites (bit strange on the ink screen but clear enough), and there loads of access to free books legal or not so legal ;-) which means you will never run out of stuff to read, on top of that I still haven't had to recharge the battery so all in all an excellent bit of kit. And I would recommend any one who likes to read to invest in one.

Happy reading

Clean Slate

In my house we have a tradition that come the New Year we wipe the slate clean and start afresh, the idea is simple we clear out all the rubbish from the previous year and move on  anew.  The first act is to clear out the house, all the Christmas decorations go away on December 31^st then we go through each room getting rid of the rubbish we simply don’t need, every room gets cleaned so in essence a we start the new year from a clean slate. Then on the 1^st of January we open all the windows and doors as to let in the new year. This little ritual may seem a little odd but it’s something we have done for the last 15 years and probably will keep doing for the next 15 and  I like doing it.

As for goals I still have my aims and aspirations these are detailed on the Bucket list Tab and for those who read my Epic fail blog know I have a bit to do to achieve them, (it wouldn’t be worth doing them if they were easy) but the biggest thing I want to achieve this year is to invest more time into what I to do, and to do this I need to clear out the rubbish, the stuff in my life that’s consumes time and doesn’t serve my vested interests. Silly things like playing too much with games on my phone (dam you Angry birds) or the dreaded Facebook can be substituted with reading/writing blogs or my short story. Then there’s the evening once my kids have gone to bed I normally crash why? I sit behind a computer all day my body doesn’t need the rest, do a good hours training then chill it’s only a hour, over a year that 365 hours or 15 days you can do a lot  with that kind of time, but to do this I need to clear out the old habits and instil new ones.

 And that’s my aim for this year clear out the rubbish and reinvest the time to me

Happy New Year and a great 2012

Epic Fail

This is a review of my 2011, obviously from the title you won’t be surprised that I consider this not my most successful year with regard to personal challenges.

Right back at the beginning of the year like most of us will have done I wrote down  a list of things I wanted to achieve this year

1)      Run a sub 1:30 half

2)      Quit drinking

3)      Write a short story

Then there was the odd thing that came up which I tried to do as well

1)        HCA self-protection course

Well I didn’t achieve a single one of them Doh!!, well technically I did finish the HCA course, but I didn’t get out the course what I went in to achieve, this is no reflection on the teaching of the course as the other members who participated took the bull by the horns and blossomed, each one made some massive and incredible changes to their lives. Why didn’t I? well I suppose what I was looking for was an easy answer but what I really got was a reality check that If I am honest I didn’t like and was scared to face and still am, to be honest I am still a bit confused by it all, but it is something I am working on one step at a time.  

With regard to the rest of the items on the list I simply didn’t achieve what I started, normally at this point all the excuse would pop up, lack of time, work pressures, any means off  bull shitty blah de blah blah excuses, however the reality is I haven’t invested enough into achieving the goals. Don’t get me wrong just because I haven’t done them this year doesn’t mean they are not going to get done, and in all but one I have learned a lot about what needs to be done to achieve those goals, not more so than with the case of the Sub 1:30 half my goal was greatly unrealistic in the first place, just trying to do this has given me a whole new respect for those athletes that can run those remarkable times, the build up takes years and the level of discipline is just awe inspiring, like I said the goal is still there I just need to add some smaller goals on the way .

So what can I say for the year, yes I didn’t achieve what I set out to, but I have learned allot and that can only be a good thing. There has been some real highlights, I was honoured to be best man at my mates wedding, watching my kids grow this year has been amazing as they are at that wonderful age of discovery, The whole Mini scene which my wife has got into, on paper this still seems strange but the new friends we have meet and the places we have been to have been quality.  Me and Beck went to our real first proper outdoor concert together, I know that’s sad to say at our age, but it was brilliant. But I think that is the biggest thing I have learned this year, every single time we/I have tried something new or different it’s really paid off we have had some thorerly enjoyable experiences and every time we have stayed safe and done the same old thing, it’s been well, not so good. 

So what for 2011, well it’s not exactly gone according to plan, but has by been no means been bad, the good bits have been great and the rest is learning for next year.  So what next well? the first

thing I have done in preparation is book a April marathon in a city I have never ran in.  “MK here we come” .. 

Turkey Trot

The race that very nearly never was!!

This is the one race in my local area which for some reason seamed to completely elude me.

First Attempt:- missed out due to race being full

Second attempt :- got a place but got injured at the Worksop half (knee)

Third attempt :- got a place but got injured at the Clowne half  (same Knee)

Fourth attempt: Race filled in 2 days, so I thought I had missed again, however a friend who did get in but couldn’t participate and generously gave me his number.

 

The training had gone well this time far better than any other half this year and I was determined to bust 1:45, a few years ago that time would be disappointing but this time I knew it was going to be challenge. Typically the night before i  lost my number and all the race information, which obviously I couldn’t pick a replacement up the next day as technically I wasn’t running, however eventually we found so I put it down as a little test to see if I really wanted it.

Race day

Wake up with the usual nerves don’t know why this happens have done enough by now, where I shouldn’t worry, and it’s not like I am going to contend, just a standard mid pack runner with nothing to prove out to enjoying the day. Still nervous all the same.

I can’t tell you much about splits and what the scenery is like a certain points, to be honest there are long spells when I just follow the back of the person in front and kind of zone out.

In general the course was a quite nice undulating course, the weather turned out perfect nice and cool with no rain, wind was a bit blustery at times but nothing to really make any difference.

From the start in Keyworth it weaves around the country lanes of Nottinghamshire and goes through a couple of very pretty villages,(I remember these because that’s where the water was lol) and back again.

There were three very distinct hills one near the beginning one about 2/3rds in and the evil Satan spawn at the end, what kind of sadist sticks a bloody 1/2 mile long hill at the end, should have guessed it wasn’t going to be nice by the 12mile marker sign, just wish I got a picture of that.

The only criticism I had was the marshalling of the traffic, easily the worst I have ever run in, and in the latter stages could see an accident waiting to happen, especially for some of the slower runners were then pack had thinned out.

In the end I came in, (well Kevin did) in 1:44:50 which I was really pleased with especially as at one point I know I was a 1 minuet down, I know this doesn’t sound a lot but is hard work to make the time back.

And to top it off at the end I got to meet fellow Dailymiler James O who broke his PB, it was really nice to put a face to a name.

So officially I still haven’t run this race but I did cross the line 332^nd.

All in all a good mornings work.

Its been a while..

Its been a while since I last came on here and wrote a blog, and it would be nice to say its down to doing lots of new and exciting things but to be honest its more due to doing nothing much out the ordinary and not having a real need to vent the things going through my mind.

So why am I writing now, well simply I am trying to kick start a few things and the first main thing is my running, this is a easy one as a person in am goal driven and need a purpose to motivate my self, hence I have entered the  http://www.miltonkeynesmarathon.co.uk/ the aim being to break the 4 hour mark, a time I know I could have done last time if I had been more disciplined in my training. Currently I am running around 20 miles weeks with a long run around 8 miles and with a half marathon just last week I am in a great place to build a solid foundation for April. Recently I have been looking into quite a few different training regimes although i still don't know which one is best, realistically run i can 4 times a week, so if any one knows a good system for a 4 day a week runner please let me know the more information available the better.

The second thing is to finish my short story, i have set a date of the 11th of December for this and will be posting it on here that day, if i don't please feel free to ridicule as often as possible :-)

I love this picture from the Worksop Half, it looks like I am trying to overtake on the corner, reality they were all passing on the inside.

And on that note I better get on with it.

“why do you write a blog”

I recently got asked “why do you write a blog”, now this came for a man who ironically was asking me to write a blog about work as part of their new  marketing strategy (of which I was supposed to be do in my free time).  Unsurprisingly I haven’t written one about work the joys of estimating and detailing the benefits of using a three sided ruler compared to a two sided one, these are far to mind numbing to put on paper.

However he did ask a good question “why do you write a blog”, well people who know me will know I am a very private person I have a small social circle and generally prefer doing my things by myself, my main past time is virtually done entirely on your own often I places in the middle of nowhere.

And I think this very reason is why I write a blog, its an outlet to get stuff of my chest, some bad some good all depending what I need and how I feel at the time. At the moment I find writing to be very therapeutic and a nice record which I can look back at, and if people like what they read and make a connection or feel inspired to have a go themselves then better still, the huge support I got from my last blog was truly remarkable and helped allot especially when I went back to it a few weeks later.

My Names Ben and I am A ........... Runner.

As I set on what is going to be my toughest challenge it is one full of apprehension and fear; and for the first time in a long time this isn’t a physical challenge… it’s a challenge of the mind.

Most people who know me will know that I like a drink. What is not commonly known is just how much.  Now, before I get too deep into this I would like to point out I am not a raving piss-head. I am not one of those people who wake in the morning searching for the vodka bottle. The reality is that I only drink 4 cans a night which in alcohol terms is little more than a bottle of wine.  There are many people who drink this every day and, to be fair, my addiction does not adversely effect everyday life at all; this is the very reason why stopping is going to be the biggest challenge.

See the thing is that after 6+ years of drinking I had become completely reliant on it; what may have started as a means to calm the mind and an aid to relax after quitting smoking, has now become a habitual part of my life, to the extent were I felt lost without it. I’d wake up in the morning or drive to work thinking I will need to pop to the shops on my way back from work, I would look at the change in my wallet and work out if I had enough money to get a few tins in; often in lieu of the days food.

This is when you’re caught up in an addiction and sub-consciously or consciously you know that it’s got you.  Drinking/smoking doesn’t just sneak up on you; you see it coming a mile off, all the telltale signs are there because you start arguing with yourself. The days when you haven’t got money or the time you find yourself just cramming a drink in and because you normally have one, you don’t enjoy it.  My wife often said when I had been training and got back late ‘’you don’t need a beer; you will be off to bed in a hour’’, but I would still find myself drinking it for the sake of drinking it - and when you drink 2 litres of beer that fast it is impossible to enjoy it.

Now I realised dinking Beer was becoming a problem an addiction, because i started trying to control IT so I would tell myself  ‘be strong; don’t have a beer tonight’, I would tell myself  I will cut down I will only have it a few nights a week, just the weekends.  But just driving past the shop brings you out in cold sweats.  You play the coin game, heads = beer, tails = no beer, so when tails turns up you then add other rules, fate only works with a pound coin or best of three/five/seven or I have a pocket full of coins so most heads wins… that kind of thing.  Then even when they all come back saying no drinking today, you start manipulating the people around you, “Beck (my Wife) do we need anything from the shops?’’, ‘’have we got enough bread in?’’, ‘’do we need any milk?” all in a vain attempt to get her permission, because if she says yes then it’s alright.

Then, if none of these methods gave me the right answer, I would start to get agitated, not aggressive or nasty, just agitated; we all know what it like to have some one around in a bad mood, even when they’re quiet it puts the whole house on edge.  And that was me - just brooding in the corner, getting the mundane jobs done with my blood pressure rising and body temperature going through the roof. All up to the point were I get that permission and Beck says “oh just get yourself some then” and instantly I’m back to normal. 

These are the reasons that I have to stop.  It’s not fair on me, or anyone around me to be stuck in this cycle; it’s not helping anyone.

Maybe it was fate or something but just at the right time motivation came along; unfortunately I don’t see signs well, small hints don’t work, big hints rarely work  I have to be smacked in the face with the preverbal hammer before I take note of anything, and this came in the shape of my bank balance.  Between work drying up, a cock-up by the tax office and a bit over zealous spending during the holiday period we were suddenly left skint.  The first easy fix was to cut out the beer and for the first few days this was all the incentive I needed.  They say it takes three days for the alcohol fully to clear your body, and then the cravings really start to kick in; I can tell you this is true.

I assume as with everyone that this is the tough part, but for me it’s not so much the physical effects, more the mental ones.  I know what I am like I don’t like conflict, I don’t like it in any form; whether it be physical or verbal I cannot handle it.  What I also found out is that I couldn’t handle the conflict within myself, every time I thought about having a beer my inner self would start arguing; it was like having a bunch of five year olds in my head and logical reasoning seemed to go out the window leaving me more confused and agitated than before.  Unfortunately I don’t have many tools at my disposal to reign myself in when I get like that.  I find it very hard to put things back into proportion, but what I have found is that if I can break the cycle and distract myself enough, I can refocus on the important bits and forget the rest.

For me this is where running has come into its own, when your on the road its only you no one else is there. Within the first few miles all that nervous physical energy is gone and you have broken your body into the motion of running, it becomes that time when it’s all about you, your body starts to relax and you become in tune with the repetitive motion of running you start to get in to the flow, each thud on the ground as trainer hits tarmac is like the ticking of a clock. I personally find this is what I can only describe a very medative, I find my mind starts to clear and I can quickly to put problems in perspective the solutions quickly become clearer, they may still be difficult but never quite so bad. A friend of mine calls this Centring yourself a process were you bring everything back to the core “you” and look out again with fresh eyes.

Then there’s the fun part, the part when you have calmed you’re troubles put things back in perspective, put the world to rights as such, you can really let your imagination loose it’s like daydreaming with all the endless possibilities that your mind can conjure but with clarity of conscious thought it’s a truly beautiful place to be and one with endless possibilities.

To me this is the beauty of the art of running.  Its simplicity means that you don’t have to think about the 100 and 1 other things you could do, it becomes simply a means to get you where you’re going, whatever that goal shall be.

I now have a new goal (well to be truthful it’s not a new goal I always knew it was there), I want that sense of clarity and stillness I get on the road to transpose in to my everyday life.  It is the one thing I have been searching for all these years I have just been using the wrong means to find it.

The very fact that I am writing at 5:30 in the morning 30 days since I have stopped drinking shows me that my addiction still has a very strong hold it’s still one of the first things to enter my mind in the morning. But with the road by my side and the calmness and clarity running gives me I know I will get through it on step at a time.